Chocolate Strawberries and Cigarette Smoke
by Rochelle B2
Summary: Severus Snape isn’t a man of many vices or indulgences. Harry Potter may just become both. As a new Dark Lord gathers strength the greasy git and the boywholivedagain try to start something. Slash...obviously.


Chocolate Strawberries and Cigarette Smoke

I don't own.

Author: Rochelle B

Fandom: Harry Potter

Rating: R/M

Pairings: Snape/Harry, Ron/Hermione, Sirius/Remus, Ginny/Draco, Luna/Neville, Bill/noclue, Charlie/Tonks, and other stuff.

Warnings: AU, obviously. I'm just going to ignore OotP and HBP, as I am often wont to do. Slash, sex, violence, language, blah, blah, blah.

Summery: Severus Snape isn't a man of many vices or indulgences. Harry Potter may just become both. As a new Dark Lord gathers strength the greasy git and the boy-who-lived-again try attempt to start something.

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Chapter One

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Severus Snape, known throughout Europe as a first-class Potions Master and spy for the side of Light, couldn't do anything but stare at Albus Dumbledore in something that would have been amusement if he was observing the situation from the outside and not being forced to actually live it. If he were anyone except Severus Snape it would have been laughable.

Albus had, somehow, really outdone himself this time. While Snape had always known him as a meddling old coot who sought to make him out rightly miserable he couldn't have suspected he would ever go this far in his endeavors.

He looked sideways to take in the newest additions to the teaching staff, a frown working at his lips. More than all of that, making Snape miserable aside Albus had outdone himself in terms of sheer absurdity. As usual he was at Albus' right side with McGonagall on the headmaster's left. Next to her were the four new teachers, three of whom were currently the banes of his very existence.

William Weasley, his new assistant who would be presiding over the first through third year classes under Snape's watchful eye. Why this was Snape had no idea. Two Professors of the Dark Arts in the forms of Sirius Black, recently cleared of all charges and as insufferable as ever, and Remus Lupin, meddlesome werewolf who insisted on trying to make nice with Snape. The assistant professor to Hagrid, Harry Potter who apparently didn't realize that graduating meant you were entitled to escape and never look back, as most students did.

He couldn't help but let his mind filter back to how Albus had announced the new additions.

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It was raining. Not a huge surprise or something worth noticing…but it was. Raining. Fairly hard. Severus was glad he didn't need to leave the school. He'd collected the herbs for the potions he was working on this week the day before and anything he'd missed would have to be ordered. While he didn't like to use anything he hadn't grown himself he'd suffer through it.

"In light of the events of last semester yet another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be needed." Albus was saying while looking over the notes. Over the summer the various staff of Hogwarts got together at the castle three times to discuss the up-coming year.

This was the second meeting at the end of July. Severus was at Hogwarts almost all year round, as were McGonagall and Trelawney, so it didn't matter to him much beyond the fact he was required to leave his quarters for more then meals, but some of the others looked disgruntled.

Then again they looked that way every year.

Case in point Flitwick who muttered: "There's a surprise."

Albus smiled as cheerfully as ever. "Something you care to share Filius?"

"Not a thing Albus." The Charm's teachers said brightly.

Severus rolled his eyes and slunk lower in his seat. He hated this part of the meeting. Year after year he would get passed over for the position in favor of whatever freak or idiot Albus could manage to drag in. The man claimed he had his reasons and none of them included doubting his ability to teach the class. In fact Albus had said on more than one occasion that he was probably the best-qualified and trustworthy person in Europe to teach the course.

Yet he was always over looked in favor of someone else.

"Severus?"

"Yes Albus?" He kept his tone deliberately dull. This was how things had started five years ago only to have it revealed that Remus Lupin would be taking the position. He wouldn't allow his hopes to get up only to be dashed in front of the entire staff again.

He wasn't going to be the butt of anyone's jokes this year. Hopefully.

"I'll be employing William Weasley to take control of your first through third year classes so I would like you to take some time and discuss matters with him."

He arched an eyebrow. He remembered William Weasley very well. Other than his brothers Charlie and Percy he was the only Weasley child to make commendable marks in Potions… more than commendable actually, he'd been at the top of his year. Probably the best to ever come out of the Gryffindor Tower.

…Not counting the hell spawned twins of course. Severus swore those two had a genius brain between the two of them…the problem was that it was between the two of them and thus didn't amount to much.

That wasn't the point though. Why in the world would his classes be reduced?

"We'll also be welcoming back Remus Lupin to take control of the first through third years in Dark Arts." Albus continued. "Notices will be sent to parents with the usual information and all complaints will be used as fuel in Hagrid's cabin."

The half-giant cracked a large smile and Minerva chuckled behind her hand. The other teachers looked nonplussed as they were used to the Headmaster's strange whims and jokes by now. Severus just scowled. The last thing he wanted was to have a mourning werewolf around.

Remus was a pain in the arse as it was but with Black finally cleared of all charges he'd probably be down right insufferable. There was nothing worse than a smug werewolf.

"It's nice of you to lessen Snape's workload," Vector said from her place next to Sinestra. "But do you mind explaining why?"

Her tone was loaded and Severus could almost hear the 'beyond the fact you favor him in everything' that it implied. They thought Albus gave him too much leeway and allowed him to get away with things they would have been fired for. (Most of it concerning a certain Potter brat) Severus thought if they really understood what he'd had to do for that 'leeway' they blabbered about they'd shut up.

Never mind the fact there was no one Albus watched as closely as him, ever now.

"Yes." Dumbledore's tone left no room for question. Severus blinked. He too had no idea what the coot was up to, but that was to be expected. Albus rarely informed him of his plans for Severus any more than five minutes before they went into action. "Now on to the matter of the teacher who will be handling the rest of the Dark Arts-"

"Is he at least human this time?" Poppy asked.

"And not working for the Ministry?" McGonagall added with a slight shiver. Clearly the events of three years ago hadn't been forgotten. Severus was surprised by this however as McGonagall was usually the first to know what went on in that twisted mind of Albus'.

"Yes and yes." Albus smiled. "You know sometimes I think you lot don't have any faith in my ability to chose a teacher." There was a moment of strained silence then the man shrugged. "As I was saying I think you'll all recall him as he left a very lasting impression on-"

Albus' words were lost in the sound of the door of the teacher's lounge flying open and banging against the wall. At the same moment lightening streaked across the sky and was followed with a near deafening clap of thunder. Someone, and Severus suspected Flitwick, shrieked as the torches flickered and went out.

A figure, seemingly shapeless, stood framed in the doorway by the light from the hall. All was silent except the steady _Drip drip _of water.

Then the torches flickered again before coming back on. The figure turned out to be three water drenched and utterly pathetic looking men who Snape could have happily lived without ever seeing again. He would have died happily exactly ten seconds before if he had known this was going to happen.

There was a moment where no one even breathed then the hands went up and pushed the hood of the cloak back. Sprout gasped, Vector groaned, and Flitwick cursed. McGonagall actually smirked. Snape just sighed and leaned back in his chair, which was in the nearly hidden corner of the room so as to avoid the eyes of his fellow teachers.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. I believe Albus was just getting to you two." McGonagall said sounding far more pleased than Snape had ever heard before.

Black flashed his usual slightly unnerving grin and Snape saw Vector shiver. Potter just pushed sodden strands of hair from his face, green eyes glimmering with mirth. Lupin stood behind them, a fairly placid expression on his face.

Albus clapped his hands together and let out a slightly amused breath. "Indeed I was. Mr. Black will be taking over the Dark Arts classes, as I was about to say. Mr. Potter will be assisting Hagrid in Care of Magical Creatures. That is all for now, I shall see you all at the end of the month."

With that Dumbledore turned to leave, motioning for Hagrid and McGonagall to follow. Snape uncurled from his chair and left as well, having no desire to remain among the rest of the staff. Besides, there was a bottle of some kind of liquor in this damn castle that would help him ignore the fact that Albus had just invited the three men he hated more than life itself into his 'safe haven'.

It was just a matter of finding it.

There was a moment after Snape left where no one so much as moved. Then Vector shook her head, causing blond curls to fall into her face.

"This is just what we didn't need around here, another batch of insane teacher for Dumbledore to coddle. As if Hagrid and Snape weren't enough." Her long deep red fingernails drummed on the table in annoyance. "A werewolf and a convict who has just barely been cleared of his crimes. And Potter…I've heard the boy isn't right anymore."

"Does it matter to Albus?" Sprout asked lightly. "Hagrid had his wand snapped after all."

There was quiet murmuring amongst the teachers for a moment before they all, with the exception of Trelawney who had fallen asleep shortly after the meeting began, agreed that they were in for another chaos filled year.

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Snape had never found the alcohol he was searching for and was instead left to ponder what would bring Potter back less than two months after he somehow managed to graduate.

Then again, it wasn't like Snape had room to criticize in that respect. It wasn't like he ever would. For all of his complaining Hogwarts was his home. But God, if there was ever a time when he would have been justified in quitting it would have been this year. When Albus had told him who would be joining the staff he'd seriously considered it, if for no other reason than to protect his own (debatable) sanity.

But he hadn't. Oh no, he was going to suffer through the year in the company of the Black-Lupin-Potter family even if it bloody killed him, would really wouldn't be such a horrible thing considering. On the incredibly long list of people he couldn't stand those three ranked higher than even some Death Eaters did, which was no small feat.

It wasn't that Snape was a glutton for punishment, though some may have argued otherwise, or that he liked to live in a constant state of unhappiness or that he was a masochist. It wasn't even that he thought he deserved to be continually punished for the less than savory things he'd done over the years.

Indeed none of those things had anything to do with why Snape choose to come back to Hogwarts even though Voldemort was successfully defeated the year before, Dumbledore was hiring idiots, and he had an offer from Avalon University to teach students interested in actual potions careers. Rather he came back because he still owed Albus Dumbledore, the only man who'd even pretended to give a damn about him in his very long thirty-nine years of life.

As long as Albus requested he return and continue to teach the Art of Potions Making to hopelessly idiotic students he would do it, no matter how it pained him to see one incompetent student after another mangle one of the few things that he truly gained pleasure form. A lesser man may have broken down to see his life's passion so poorly treated.

Snape would have liked to blame his drinking on the constant disappointment he'd suffered while working at Hogwarts but he didn't want to give his students that much credit.

Still, here he was again at the beginning of term feast, watching another hoard of morons being sorted into their respective houses where they would languish for the next seven years, managing to learn next to nothing and doing little more than annoying the hell out of him.

It was true, the first few years of his teaching career he'd begun each semester with the foolish hope that someone, somehow, would have a talent for potions and be able to make something of themselves, or at least be slightly above mediocre.

He'd been sorely disappointed many many _many_ times.

Teaching was a very...depressing profession, he'd found. When he'd come to Dumbledore for protection, ready to admit that he was a complete and total moron for trying to rebel against who he was, he hadn't excepted to end up in this place, shuffling through his seventeenth year of teaching.

"Welcome students, new and old, to another year at Hogwarts. Hopefully this year will be without the fighting, property destruction, and chaos of the prior year." Dumbledore was standing and looking rather pleased with himself in spite of the way some of the students and staff winced at the memory of the battle that had taken place on Hogwarts grounds at the end of the last semester. "We welcome back Professor Lupin, as well as Professors Black and Potter, to Hogwarts this year."

There was a flurry of cheers and clapping from all of the tables, though the Slytherin table was the quietest and the Gryffindor table did their best to drown out the other three houses. The female Weasley was standing up and clapping with a face-splitting grin on her face. Snape wasn't surprised; he seemed to recall rumors about the 'true' nature of her relationship with Potter.

Speaking of whom, the boy was red faced and slowly sliding from sight between his Godfathers who were grinning like the idiots Snape knew they were. It wasn't often a werewolf and an ex-convict got such a reception and it seemed they planned to enjoy it to its fullest extent.

Once the response had died Dumbledore continued with his usual warnings, careful to inject his offbeat sense of humor into his words.

"The Forbidden Forest is off limits to all of those who value their immortal souls and I kindly request that all students under fifth year stay out of the level three greenhouse, as we've had a problem with some of the man-eating plants as of late."

Snape's lips twitched. Professor Sprout was still recovering from the rather nasty bite one of her plants had taken out of her arm. It probably would have been more amusing if Madam Pomfrey hadn't felt the need to Owl him with a request for a healing potion to speed up the process, thus forcing him to return to Hogwarts a week early.

The Hall erupted into happy chatter from the students. Snape leaned back in his chair, eyeing each table in turn. Those students unlucky enough to catch his eye were rewarded with an icy glare and more often than not turned around in their seats and stared at their plates for the rest of the night.

Finally things began to die down as the First Years were led away by their Prefects and the rest of the students gathered together in order to go back and continue their beginning of the year festivities away from the prying eyes of their professors.

Snape was relived. The rules stated that the House Heads couldn't leave until at least half of their actual houses had made their way back to the dorms, for the sake of keeping their students in line. It was true the students tended to act more respectful of their own House Head than of the Heads of the other houses. This was especially true of Slytherins who were at times outwardly insolent towards their teachers.

While Snape had pretended to be amused by it for years, to keep up his appearance of Pure-blood loyalty it had been nothing short of infuriating because it meant he had to keep an even closer eye on the students in his house to be sure they didn't get too out of line and make him look bad in front of the other professors. Most of the other teachers had taught him during his school career and he had been the youngest permanent staff member since he'd begun teaching.

It had been difficult to build a reputation and be taken seriously by the others. For years he hadn't been seen as anything more as the

"Not hungry Professor?"

Snape didn't even bother to look behind him to see who had spoken. "I prefer not to stuff my face as if I haven't eaten all summer in the company of my students Potter. And I assure you; you're free to call me Snape. You're a professor yourself now."

The boy laughed sarcastically. "Sure."

Snape looked up at the boy, frowning. Potter had always known how to suck the fun out mocking him. How could Snape possibly delight in putting him down if he did it himself?

"Did you want something Potter?"

Potter shrugged and sat in the chair that was normally occupied by Sprout. All of a sudden Snape kind of missed her, as annoying and talkative as she could be when the mood struck at least she would have kept Gryffindor's Golden Boy away.

"Not really. Just bored." As he spoke green eyes slide away from Snape and scanned the students, some of whom were looking their way anxiously and whispering to each other.

Snape rolled his eyes. "I have no interest in entertaining you so, if you would excuse me, I need to return to my lab. A new year, full of eager minds to be filled, awaits me in the morning."

He didn't bother to hide his sarcasm, something he usually tried to do when Albus was nearby. The man didn't even spare him a glance.

Potter blinked then nodded. "Of course. I suppose I'll see you later Professor."

Snape didn't bother to correct the teen again, preferring to leave the teacher's table and retreat to the gardens, ignoring the biting chill in the air. A package of cigarettes emerged from his robe pocket and he withdrew one with a frown.

He liked to think he was a man of few vices yet he'd never been able to quite give this one up. He'd quit more than once but never managed to do it for long.

Still, as he inhaled and smoke filled his lungs, he knew exactly why it was he never managed to quit.

He liked it and Snape really didn't have too many things that he truly enjoyed.

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Stay Tuned for the Next Chapter, which features…stuff.


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